我愛大埔

幾天前，前往細姨於大埔的家。途中一遍青蔥，我一直很嚮往這悠悠自在的感覺，像大海中的一葉輕舟似的，毫無著力之處。涼風撲面，身體變得像紙一般輕，一切壓力煩惱隨風而逝。

坐在村口前的小食店，頗為破舊的桌椅，且沒有豪華的裝潢，但一切都眼前的所有的景物完美合二為一，拼湊出一幅和諧無比的壁畫。面前的汀角路遇然有一兩部車子駛過，路的背後是一大遍的樹森，偶爾間聽見嗤嗤的蟬叫聲。仰頭遠望，只見一遍無際的藍天。

我食著咖哩炒飯，霎時間腦裡一遍空白，彷彿與大自然融為一體。心裡平靜得像月下的西湖，不泛起一絲漣漪，似是明白到古人說的天人合一。

I hate this fucking place

I wanna go! I wanna go! I wanna go!

It’s really painful to stay here.

What can I do?

死因不明

今天從教會歸家後，赫然發覺一位故人來信，內容令人心碎，更令我摸不著頭腦。我嘴角微顫，心裡總覺得不是味兒。

信息中簡述我倆從今割席分坐，互不相交。

我拭了拭雙眼，我細想，我應該沒有誤會文中深意吧。

這個人可不是開玩笑的哦，更不是語帶雙關。

可是問題來了，雖然我跟此人頗投契，卻不過是萍水相逢，那來席以割? 更甚的是，我可沒有跟此人有任何爭執，為何頃刻間將席割斷，不留餘地呢?

如果說，此人代另一位人士轉述，卻為何不留下任何線索呢?

要我像福爾摩斯去抽絲剝繭，㕷們是交朋友，可不是查案哦。

朋友貴於誠，這是我一直對交朋友的宗旨。

怎樣也好，我是非常珍惜每一段友誼。

可是，友誼是雙向，互動的，單方面的付出是不能建設出任何成果。

擺了，這可能是佛家所說的䤸滅，人世間的一切，都不過是䤸所帶來的相，人很多時侯都會執著於俗世間的相，這執著帶給人貪，嗔，痴，三毒，這為人苦惱的源頭。但人經過種種人事變遷後，便會漸漸悟到，佛學中的見山是山，見山不是山，見山仍是山的道理。人看見山後將其定義為山，可是仔細再看，山可不是山，而一大堆石頭，並為草木蓋之。而最後見山仍是山，不是指人退步了，因為這階段是指人有所覺悟，破執了。山只不過是人給予其的相，假如沒有人，又何來有山這個名詞呢。所以，當我們(人)再望向山時，發覺原來還是山。這就是可破了他相。不敢說我看破了什麼，要是我看破了，就不會在此打了這一篇文章。我打此文的原因便是去讓自己思考，自省。我們說吾日三醒吾身，當我打文章的時候，會讓靜靜的去思考，去反省。

基督讓我體驗愛，但佛學令我明白如何放低。

我覺得兩者並沒有什麼衝突，這樣反而讓我領悟得更多，更深入，更能睇會到人生在世的意義。

To my friend

Dear friend,

How are you? I miss you so much. Though we met only few times, I thought you were a good guy to talk to.
I really dun know what happens between us. If I do something wrong, I am willing to say sorry.
Maybe my passion scares you? If so, I am so sorry about that. I always treat my friend this way.

Really, I didn’t feel angry about what you had done to me. I just felt confused, just like walking in the mist.

Anyway, I really treat as my friend.
Again, sorry if I made you unhappy.

The sadness behind smile

“ Everyone’s life concerns other’s “ heard from someone
I always believe there’s some kind of connection between humanity.
This connection heads us together, making us feel alive.
But I lose it. I can’t even find any clue in my life. The connection seems to disappear.
I am afraid. I try hard to trace my connection, to find myself meaning.

Sometimes, I really envy Frances. She met her soulmate ,Sophia. A close relationship that they can share everything.
Though, I have couple of close friends. I just dun know why I dare not open my heart to them.
Maybe I am waiting for a good listener, the right guy to listen the call inside my heart.
Will I meet that guy someday, somewhere?
This is the one we call, life parter.
The one that completes your life.

“ The place we work out together is family, isn’t it? “ words I heard from someone.
I really dun know how to answer this question.
Maybe I never feel to be in a family long time ago.
I can’t even picture how a typical family is. What will they do in the weekend?
What will they talk about. How will they celebrate in festivals.
For me, maybe, family is only a word without meaning.

I really want to know the feeling being in a family, to be one of them, since I was young.
So I always tell myself not to hurt anyone I love. I swear.